Here's a Facebook post this woman I know put out to the masses about me....
"Last night I had a dream I was at a swimming pool party. Dave M. was there. He had on a red speedo and a cut off wife beater tee. And he had belly button fuzz. The fuzz was really bothering me. But I was embarrassed to tell him to please pick that fuzz outta there. What could this dream possibly mean??? Lol"
Just gotta grin and bear it....
Friday, October 17, 2014
Saturday, October 4, 2014
Finally
I've been absent for a while as I have finally gotten around to helping a friend out by tiling his shower area. Not at all hard, just time consuming, and add in the fact the my buddy likes to sit on the toilet smoking cigarettes and pointing out any discrepancies I've yet to address. Whew...
Don't get me wrong, he's a great dude that I've known all my life, who currently drives 18 wheelers hauling whatever to natural gas fracking sites around the Mid-Atlantic states. Thus the reason it was so hard connecting with him to get this job out of both our hair.
Don't get me wrong, he's a great dude that I've known all my life, who currently drives 18 wheelers hauling whatever to natural gas fracking sites around the Mid-Atlantic states. Thus the reason it was so hard connecting with him to get this job out of both our hair.
Saturday, September 27, 2014
Disoriented in the panties aisle
That's right, take an over-sized bumbling idiot like myself, and drop him off in the bra and panties section of Macy's and watch what transpires.
My wife's 49th birthday is today and I went shopping yesterday morning for clothing that she desperately needed. Again, in case you don't know, she had a stroke at the end of December, last year, and now I take care of most things that she did oh so well.
Anywho (no, I didn't get the letters backwards) I realized she needed new undergarments and thought that'd be the perfect gift for her. So off to Macy's I went, back into the area of women's unmentionables, and without knowing her actual size in these things, I started rummaging. The rummaging brought forth grumbling, and the grumbling brought forth my cellphone. "Hey sis, um, I'm at Macy's trying to get Marcie some bra's and panties and I have know clue what the hell I'm doing! Do you think it's possible for you to join me here and give me some help?"
Sis was there in about 20 minutes, I saw her coming down the aisle shaking her head and laughing.
See, I was holding some of the loose panties up to my hips trying to get some friggin' idea, maybe close, of her size. Does this work? Hell no! I'm a 40 in the waist.
My sister proceeded to set me straight on the differences in bikini, briefs, etc. and then called my daughter for mom's bra size. I settled on a six pack of Fruit of the Loom bikini style, and three plain old regular 36 C pink, white and baby blue bras made by somebody or another, I don't know.
Screw that! I felt like a big old perv, cruisin' the undies section, gettin' my jollies. I was merely a husband on a mission.
My wife's 49th birthday is today and I went shopping yesterday morning for clothing that she desperately needed. Again, in case you don't know, she had a stroke at the end of December, last year, and now I take care of most things that she did oh so well.
Anywho (no, I didn't get the letters backwards) I realized she needed new undergarments and thought that'd be the perfect gift for her. So off to Macy's I went, back into the area of women's unmentionables, and without knowing her actual size in these things, I started rummaging. The rummaging brought forth grumbling, and the grumbling brought forth my cellphone. "Hey sis, um, I'm at Macy's trying to get Marcie some bra's and panties and I have know clue what the hell I'm doing! Do you think it's possible for you to join me here and give me some help?"
Sis was there in about 20 minutes, I saw her coming down the aisle shaking her head and laughing.
See, I was holding some of the loose panties up to my hips trying to get some friggin' idea, maybe close, of her size. Does this work? Hell no! I'm a 40 in the waist.
My sister proceeded to set me straight on the differences in bikini, briefs, etc. and then called my daughter for mom's bra size. I settled on a six pack of Fruit of the Loom bikini style, and three plain old regular 36 C pink, white and baby blue bras made by somebody or another, I don't know.
Screw that! I felt like a big old perv, cruisin' the undies section, gettin' my jollies. I was merely a husband on a mission.
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
Whew!
I've been silent for a few days as the test I took in biology last Wednesday weighed heavy on me, until Yesterday afternoon that is. I have this tendency to sweat tests after I've taken them because I believe that I did really poorly.
Let me go back to my very first semester of college. I took an IT course that was required and was nervous about that class because I knew not a damn thing about Word, Powerpoint, Access, and Excel. I bought this text by Microsoft that was as thick as some bills introduced to the Senate, and knew it was going to be a tough go.
My instructor was an easy going, older gentleman who probably had about 12 years on me (I being 52 at the time) and the class was made up of all recently graduated high schoolers. These kids were born with the knowledge of Microsoft Word and worked the keyboards like they were playing a piano. Anyway, the pretty black girl that sat next to me was my savior in this class as most of my questions were directed to her.
Our mid term test was an open book, 50 question test. That's right, open book. I knew I was in, I had this test in the bag. When I handed it in, the instructor asked how I thought I did. "Man I got this" I said as I practically skipped put of the classroom.
Five days later I checked out my grades on the schools website......I GOT A 52% out of a possible 100! I was livid at myself! I e-mailed the instructor ranting and raving about how failure is not acceptable to myself, how I feel so friggin' stupid, and questioning myself if I've made the right move by going back to school after 34 years.
The following Monday, back in class, he lectured on what we will be doing and then asked me to step into the hall. He spoke up on the fact I was belittling myself so angrily and asked if I've ever thought about getting professional help. I asked him to repeat that last part, and once he did I replied that I was already seeing an anger therapist and the meds haven't fully kicked in yet.
He told me that he would get me through the class, that all work was to be turned in by the end of the semester and above all not to drop out of school over one test result. I didn't drop out and my final grade in that class was an A.
Now back to my test taking fears. Ever since that over confident remark I made about that open book test, I always remark about how nervous I am for an exam, how I don't know the material well, etc., etc. When I do this, with no confidence, I have done well on tests ever since.When asked how I think I did on an exam, I remark that I don't jinx myself by saying one way or another.
On this bio exam dealing with cell structure and division, mitosis and meiosis, chromosomes and ribosomes, I missed 4 out of 48 questions. 91%. An A.
Whew!
Let me go back to my very first semester of college. I took an IT course that was required and was nervous about that class because I knew not a damn thing about Word, Powerpoint, Access, and Excel. I bought this text by Microsoft that was as thick as some bills introduced to the Senate, and knew it was going to be a tough go.
My instructor was an easy going, older gentleman who probably had about 12 years on me (I being 52 at the time) and the class was made up of all recently graduated high schoolers. These kids were born with the knowledge of Microsoft Word and worked the keyboards like they were playing a piano. Anyway, the pretty black girl that sat next to me was my savior in this class as most of my questions were directed to her.
Our mid term test was an open book, 50 question test. That's right, open book. I knew I was in, I had this test in the bag. When I handed it in, the instructor asked how I thought I did. "Man I got this" I said as I practically skipped put of the classroom.
Five days later I checked out my grades on the schools website......I GOT A 52% out of a possible 100! I was livid at myself! I e-mailed the instructor ranting and raving about how failure is not acceptable to myself, how I feel so friggin' stupid, and questioning myself if I've made the right move by going back to school after 34 years.
The following Monday, back in class, he lectured on what we will be doing and then asked me to step into the hall. He spoke up on the fact I was belittling myself so angrily and asked if I've ever thought about getting professional help. I asked him to repeat that last part, and once he did I replied that I was already seeing an anger therapist and the meds haven't fully kicked in yet.
He told me that he would get me through the class, that all work was to be turned in by the end of the semester and above all not to drop out of school over one test result. I didn't drop out and my final grade in that class was an A.
Now back to my test taking fears. Ever since that over confident remark I made about that open book test, I always remark about how nervous I am for an exam, how I don't know the material well, etc., etc. When I do this, with no confidence, I have done well on tests ever since.When asked how I think I did on an exam, I remark that I don't jinx myself by saying one way or another.
On this bio exam dealing with cell structure and division, mitosis and meiosis, chromosomes and ribosomes, I missed 4 out of 48 questions. 91%. An A.
Whew!
Thursday, September 18, 2014
What a day
Today was a fabulous day as far as the weather goes. Cool, cloudless, and calm. This is when I like getting outdoors and doing yard/garden work that gets somewhat overlooked when it's sweltering. To me sweltering is anything above 75 degrees.
I picked the remaining tomatoes that were large enough to be worthy of picking, and pulled the plants and gave 'em a toss over the hillside. I figured maybe the groundhogs would appreciate them. I planted some potted trees that need just enough time to get some roots into the soil before the first freeze, and put 4 mums, that I acquired free of charge, into the ground as well.
The flower shop in town has closed up due to the owner having health issues, and so he stopped by and told me to go up and grab the mums that were left out in front of the place. I walked up there this morning and grabbed the 4 that were left, but before walking off I attached a note to his door thanking him for having business that made customers feel welcomed in his establishment.
The shop relocated a block away from me about 6 months ago after a devastating fire that started in another establishment that it was once connected to. He reopened after only being down and out for a month.
I would always stop in just to shoot the shit, and when I needed flowers, I'd get a 20 dollar bouquet for 10 bucks. I am honored that he stopped by just to offer up the mums. His business will be missed by all.
I picked the remaining tomatoes that were large enough to be worthy of picking, and pulled the plants and gave 'em a toss over the hillside. I figured maybe the groundhogs would appreciate them. I planted some potted trees that need just enough time to get some roots into the soil before the first freeze, and put 4 mums, that I acquired free of charge, into the ground as well.
The flower shop in town has closed up due to the owner having health issues, and so he stopped by and told me to go up and grab the mums that were left out in front of the place. I walked up there this morning and grabbed the 4 that were left, but before walking off I attached a note to his door thanking him for having business that made customers feel welcomed in his establishment.
The shop relocated a block away from me about 6 months ago after a devastating fire that started in another establishment that it was once connected to. He reopened after only being down and out for a month.
I would always stop in just to shoot the shit, and when I needed flowers, I'd get a 20 dollar bouquet for 10 bucks. I am honored that he stopped by just to offer up the mums. His business will be missed by all.
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
I'm screwed
Tomorrow is my first exam in Biology. 45 Multiple choice, 15 true or false. That's it. Only one problem with that: I do better on essay tests. Word association is not at all hard, but that is where I seem to always give a couple wrong answers. You know....a simple twist in the wording and that's all it takes.
On the other hand my essay exams are always spot on. I am the one defining the question. I am the one wording my question. Even if I'm not sure of the question, I write enough bullshit so that somewhere in there I am at least touching on the subject enough to make the grade.
I have been out of high school long enough to have forgotten those ancient subjects of sciences, maths, languages, etc., and had educated myself with what I've seen, heard and tasted of the world at large. Thus going back to school after 30 plus years was a tough transition.
After years of thinking that life can't be enjoyed without the use of booze and dope, I cleaned my act up and have been free of both for over 5 years now (cigarettes as well). I decided to go to college to see if I had enough brain cells left to at least get an Associates Degree in Social Work. I wanted to get in to the drug and alcohol field in some lower position and work my way through. I want to give back to the community that is plagued with the abuse of both.
During the course of my 3rd semester I realized that I could make the grades and have now decided to go on and work towards a Bachelors Degree. Anyway, I was between my 3rd and 4th semester when my wife had her stroke, so at the start of the 4th, I had to drop two electives to free up time so as to spend more time with my wife at the hospital. So instead of graduating this past May, I am currently in a 5th semester of which those electives are being finished up. I am attending a Community College with plans to transfer to Carlow University in the Oakland area of Pittsburgh.
Getting back to the original point of this story, I will not start to sweat this exam until the instructor tells us to put all our belongs under the desks.
Maybe I should start studying...
On the other hand my essay exams are always spot on. I am the one defining the question. I am the one wording my question. Even if I'm not sure of the question, I write enough bullshit so that somewhere in there I am at least touching on the subject enough to make the grade.
I have been out of high school long enough to have forgotten those ancient subjects of sciences, maths, languages, etc., and had educated myself with what I've seen, heard and tasted of the world at large. Thus going back to school after 30 plus years was a tough transition.
After years of thinking that life can't be enjoyed without the use of booze and dope, I cleaned my act up and have been free of both for over 5 years now (cigarettes as well). I decided to go to college to see if I had enough brain cells left to at least get an Associates Degree in Social Work. I wanted to get in to the drug and alcohol field in some lower position and work my way through. I want to give back to the community that is plagued with the abuse of both.
During the course of my 3rd semester I realized that I could make the grades and have now decided to go on and work towards a Bachelors Degree. Anyway, I was between my 3rd and 4th semester when my wife had her stroke, so at the start of the 4th, I had to drop two electives to free up time so as to spend more time with my wife at the hospital. So instead of graduating this past May, I am currently in a 5th semester of which those electives are being finished up. I am attending a Community College with plans to transfer to Carlow University in the Oakland area of Pittsburgh.
Getting back to the original point of this story, I will not start to sweat this exam until the instructor tells us to put all our belongs under the desks.
Maybe I should start studying...
Monday, September 15, 2014
Never to old to learn
Well I'm back in class again today, with only 2 classes but I'll be there for 7 hours. 4 hours of biology and bio lab, then 3 hours of philosophy. This philosophy has set me back 40 years since now I've found out that I really don't know a damn thing. I blame Socrates.
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