Whew!

I've been silent for a few days as the test I took in biology last Wednesday weighed heavy on me, until Yesterday afternoon that is. I have this tendency to sweat tests after I've taken them because I believe that I did really poorly.
Let me go back to my very first semester of college. I took an IT course that was required and was nervous about that class because I knew not a damn thing about Word, Powerpoint, Access, and Excel. I bought this text by Microsoft that was as thick as some bills introduced to the Senate, and knew it was going to be a tough go.
My instructor was an easy going, older gentleman who probably had about 12 years on me (I being 52 at the time) and the class was made up of all recently graduated high schoolers. These kids were born with the knowledge of Microsoft Word and worked the keyboards like they were playing a piano. Anyway, the pretty black girl that sat next to me was my savior in this class as most of my questions were directed to her.
Our mid term test was an open book, 50 question test. That's right, open book. I knew I was in, I had this test in the bag. When I handed it in, the instructor asked how I thought I did. "Man I got this" I said as I practically skipped put of the classroom.
Five days later I checked out my grades on the schools website......I GOT A 52% out of a possible 100! I was livid at myself! I e-mailed the instructor ranting and raving about how failure is not acceptable to myself, how I feel so friggin' stupid, and questioning myself if I've made the right move by going back to school after 34 years.
The following Monday, back in class, he lectured on what we will be doing and then asked me to step into the hall. He spoke up on the fact I was belittling myself so angrily and asked if I've ever thought about getting professional help. I asked him to repeat that last part, and once he did I replied that I was already seeing an anger therapist and the meds haven't fully kicked in yet.
He told me that he would get me through the class, that all work was to be turned in by the end of the semester and above all not to drop out of school over one test result. I didn't drop out and my final grade in that class was an A.
Now back to my test taking fears. Ever since that over confident remark I made about that open book test, I always remark about how nervous I am for an exam, how I don't know the material well, etc., etc. When I do this, with no confidence, I have done well on tests ever since.When asked how I think I did on an exam, I remark that I don't jinx myself by saying one way or another.
On this bio exam dealing with cell structure and division, mitosis and meiosis, chromosomes and ribosomes, I missed 4 out of 48 questions. 91%. An A.
Whew!